Spotted: Dumbass in the rain.

Okay, first of all, you're right- I have not blogged about race #9 in Denver.  But cut me some slack; I plan on doing it this weekend, which is my first and only weekend that I'm home in October. Ah, I have such the crazy life of a celeb. (Minus the drugs). And I may or may not have had a beautiful love affair with Denver so as any good love story goes, it requires time and effort which I don't have on this fine Wednesday evening.

What I do have is a bowl of hot soup and a brief story that will automatically make you feel better and smarter than me. (Not that I'm implying you aren't smarter than me anyways, but I did get a lot of colorful "A+" stickers back in my elementary days).  I am also sporting a very fashionable look as I write this: my purple bath robe and knee high Juicy Couture socks.  I LOVE my robe and wear it on quite the regular basis, as my roommate's boyfriend has pointed out.  If you don't own one, I highly suggest putting this warm fluffy garment of joy on your next shopping list, right below a jar of Peter Pan Reduced Fat Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter. The Juicy Couture socks I could normally do without; I hate wearing socks. And besides these socks, I pretty much hate everything Juicy Couture.  Especially those gross, embossed, velour jumpsuits. So I'm sure you're wondering why I'm wearing such a heinous outfit and telling you about it. Well, it's because I'm freezing. And a dumbass.

It is currently 45 degrees outside, pouring rain, with tornado-like winds that cut through you like the whipping nunchucks of TMNT Michelangelo (my fave hero in a halfshell).  I would know this because about 20 minutes ago, I was running in it...by choice. As I sat in an hour and 20 minutes worth of traffic on my 22 mile commute home earlier this evening, I chose to ignore the rain that was causing everyone to drive like morons.  But that's not too stupid of me, because no one on the Edens knows how to drive when it's sunny out either. I also chose to ignore the radio caster's suggestion to stay inside because the waves along the lake were reaching 20 feet.  So, when I got home I slid into my spandex, zipped up my running jacket and headed out to face the wrath of Mother Nature.

I headed to my normal route and when I reached the path along the lake, taxis were posted up waiting for the poor pedestrians and bikers that got caught in the heat of Mother Nature's bitchslap. Why I didn't think it was a good idea to turn around this short 9 minutes into my run is beyond me. Southbound was impossible to head as the waves crashed, drenching the entire path.  Northbound, there is a large amount of grass area between the lake and the path.  So I ran about a half mile north.  However, I underestimated the distance 20 foot waves could reach. And I'm pretty sure it's more than 20 feet. Because the path separated by a mini Chicago pasture was no safe haven. And I was soaked. As the waves crashed over me, the sleet hit my face. And I felt as cold as Kate Winslet did in Titanic as she hogged the door and let Jack drown. (Seriously, that bitch could've made room).  The wind fought me and I had to turn around. There was no way this was happening. This is not passion, this is insanity.

I made it back to the corner of Fullerton and Clark, frigid and soaked watching people struggle with their umbrellas which nearly poked me in my little blue eyes. Nearly 5 minutes from my apartment a.k.a. warmth and dryness, I looked around and took off again.  I seriously have to be out of my damn mind. I ended up getting completely lost and was miserable my whole 8 mile run.  While my thoughts are normally positive or reflective as I run, all I was thinking was how I wanted to just quit my job so I could hibernate until July.  My feet were drenched and numb.  I tried to think about how fighting the wind was good resistance training but as the sharp ends of my pony tail whacked me in the face I could only think about how I hope the Lincoln Park zookeepers brought all the animals inside as I ran by so they didn't have to suffer in this shit.  The only good part about my run was seeing a little dog in a rain jacket. (I love a well-dressed dog). And I finally, was back on Clark and made my way home.  It was seriously the craziest, windiest, wettest, coldest and most moronic run of my life.

And here I am: trying to warm up. with a windburned face. In purple fluff. And a complete dumbass. And, I just received a text from my friend Kirstin who couldn't believe I ran in this shit that told me I needed to go on that show "My Strange Addiction". She might actually be right. So, run along and feel better and smarter than me now.  But I bet you'll really feel better if you donate for a good cause: http://donate.breastcancermarathon.com/2012Marathon/JennaDunkleRuns .  Plus, it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. Duhhh.

We'll chat about Denver soon.  Au revoir!